One of the people I met here was from Montreal, and I can already talk about her in the past tense because she went home in August after only being in Japan for eight or nine months. One of the last times I saw her, I commented that I’m glad that she’s leaving. I went on to explain that I didn’t mean it negatively, but that I also don’t want to be in Japan for a long time, but it’s so easy to get caught up in being here. She gave me hope that when I wanted to leave, I would be able to leave. She’s back in Montreal. She was just tagged in a few pictures on Facebook and she looks right at home.
In one of my poems about being in Japan, I say, “I went half way around the world because I couldn’t confront my problems”. I was stuck in jobs I didn’t really want. I wanted to be living on my own. I didn’t know what I was doing. I mean, a lot of these problems could’ve been solved if I didn’t have the dream of coming to Japan in the first place. I would’ve looked for a teaching contract, I would get a job and move out, and maybe I’d even have been able to find a relationship that would eventually go somewhere. But Japan. The possible cause of my problems and what I hoped would be the resolution to those very problems.
In a conversation with another half-Japanese Canadian this past weekend, I said I’d be happy living in Niagara. I love the place. Ultimately, I’d be happy living anywhere. Like I said, it’s easy to get caught up in being here. It’s beautiful. I’ve got a decent, well-paying job. I’ve met some great people. But Canada and the States are beautiful too. And I can find a decent, well-paying job there too. And my favourite people are there. My friend commented that it’s just important to be somewhere else and seeing that for yourself, before getting that good job and settling down. See other places and learn for yourself that you can be happy anywhere (or, I guess, that you can’t). He’s from Toronto and he learned that, but then he got married here and he’s been here for awhile.
I’m not going anywhere with this.
You might feel like you aren’t “going anywhere” with the blog post, but it sounds like you are understandings that as long as you are “going anywhere with” the people you love, you’ll be at home. Sounds like less of a ramble and more of a revelation.